26/11/2022 - Rick & Morty – The speed-date planet for three-breasted people
Disclaimer! If you’re not familiar with the show Rick & Morty, don’t read this story. It would make no sense to you as this is a piece of fan fiction. Plus, it’s just a bunch of gross and sexist comments a grandpa and a grandson yell at each other.
Reading time: 2 min
Photo by Michael Marais on Unsplash
“Wake up!”
“What?”
“Grab a brush and put a little make-up!”
“Makeup? What’s going on Rick? Aw Jeez.”
“Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up!”
“What scars? Have you sold my skin to the Skintoinans again?”
“Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? You know I’m training Reverse-Key-Pooper. He’s going to stick those keys up his ass, Morty. You screwed up big time Morty.”
“I didn’t do it Rick! I’ve got school, why are you in my room?”
“We need to go Morty. Your grandpa is going back into the dating pool.”
“What? Gross!”
“Grow up, Morty. I’m sure you’d learn a thing or two looking at your grandpa flirting with some three-breasted babes.”
“Aren’t they from Mars?”
“You’re thinking about Total Recall, Morty. I’ve found a speed-date planet exclusively for three-breasted women. I’m going to motorboat all of them. I’m Motorboat-Rick!”
“I… I don’t wanna come, Rick! Why would you want me there anyway?”
“I don’t know—burp!—maybe I enjoy having someone watching.”
“Gross!”
“Would you really sit this one out?”
“I would rather die than watch you going to town, Rick.”
“Seriously? Are you that self-involved?”
“I am? What about you? Maybe I just need to run away.”
“And where would you go, Morty? Boob World?”
“Maybe. Or, maybe, to a simpler, closer planet for three-breasted women, like, aw Jeez, I don’t know, Mars.”
Rick rolls his eyes.
“Yes! What if I run away to Mars, Rick?”
“Be my guest you selfish little shit!”
“Would you find me in the stars? Would you miss me in the end If I run out of oxygen? Or would you just mo-mo-motorboat your dates?”
“What do you think, Morty? Infinite you, but only one speed-date planet for three-breasted babes.”
“I thought you loved me!”
“Love?” Rick grabs Morty by the collar and shakes him. “So, tell me; how deep is your love? Could it go deeper, Morty?”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Would you be the concubine of an alien jelly-crab overlord for a couple of hours while your grandpa motorboats his way into the palace?”
“So, that’s what this is about!”
“It’s always what this is about! Will you stop asking stupid questions?”
About this story
Prompt:
The repeat offenders among you have no doubt been waiting for this day to come all month. For the newcomers, David Bowie Day is a tradition that celebrates, you guessed it, David Bowie. Not a fan of his work? Have no fear, brave challenger; this challenge does not require you to listen to Bowie's music at all.
Element One: Fans!
According to our archives, there has not been a fanfiction challenge in FFM since 2013. Now seems to be as good a time as any for a rerun. Hence, today you shall write fanfiction.
Element Two: Lyrics!
This would not be a David Bowie Day challenge without music! We want you to pick three pieces of lyrics from songs of your choice, take them literally, and incorporate them into your story. (They don't have to be David Bowie songs but we do have the David Bowie Day Song Randomizer for those who want the full DBD experience.) Make sure to list the lyrics and where they're from in the story's description!
My Lyrics: 1. Wake up (wake up)/Grab a brush and put a little make-up/Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up (hide the scars to fade away the-)/Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? - from Chop Suey! by System of a Down
2. What If I run away to Mars?/Would you find me in the stars?/Would you miss me in the end?/If I run out of oxygen? - from Run Away To Mars, by TALK
3. So tell me, how deep is your love? Can it go deeper? - from How Deep Is Your Love, by Calvin Harris
From the official page of FFM 2022.
Notes on the challenge
Each and every story published here has been written, reviewed, polished and published in less than 90 minutes. Which means you’re going to find spelling mistakes, ugly sentences and weird structures. I still hope you’ll enjoy them!
